I leave Sage with my mom, Jean (Ryan's mom), or Jessica at least twice a week while I go work out. So, I figure that dropping him off with the child care workers at our church, while I went to a bible study would be easy. Boy was I WRONG! As I dropped him off and was talking to the ladies in his room I noticed I was fighting back tears and sweating alot. I left him there very confident that he would be fine, the ladies were very nice that were taking care of him and he is a very easy baby. Usually happy and can be consoled by anyone if he is upset. Even though I knew he was fine and I left him smiling, it was really HARD to be away from him. I didn't stop sweating for about 30 minutes and was on the verge of tears the whole two hours. I picked Sage up and he was so happy. He did a great job and was happy to see me. I was fine untill I got home and then I just lost it. Ryan's mom came over and I just cried to her about how hard it was to leave him. I guess it was because I didn't know the people I was leaving him with very well. I talked to my mom and Ryan two hours later and got choked up again. Then tonight, while I was putting him to bed, I started crying again! I was thinking about how Ryan and I are going to Jamaica in 5 weeks with out Sage. That is going to be super hard. At least he will be with my parents and Ryan's parents.I don't know how moms that go back to work after having a baby do it! I could not emotionally leave Sage every day. I can't even do it for two hours! I am so blessed that I get to stay home with Sage. Thanks Ryan!
After we got home from the bible study
Gosh, I know how you are feeling! Leaving Gage at MDO this week was so hard, but I know it was good for both of us! I started leaving him in the church nursery when he was 4 months while Daniel and I went to the service, and the first time I did it, I cried all service. It will get easier I promise!
ReplyDeleteI remember that feeling like it was just yesterday. It was the hardest thing I think I have ever done. It is very hard to leave your child with someone you don't know and he doesn't know either. I just had to tell myself that she was in a safe place and everything will be just fine. If she got upset they would let me know. You are such a good mommy Keri!!! I hope you have so much fun on your vacation with Ryan! Sage will have a blast with the grandparents!
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you for making it through the whole bible study! I know it was extremely hard, and I'm sorry. You are such a wonderful mom!! Sage is one lucky boy : )
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